Not My Kid: What Parents Believe about the Sex Lives of by Sinikka Elliott

By Sinikka Elliott

Little ones have intercourse. whereas just about all mom and dad needless to say many little ones are sexually lively, there's a paradox in lots of mom and dad’ pondering: they insist their very own teenager childrens usually are not sexual, yet represent their children’s friends as sexually-driven and hypersexual. instead of accuse mom and dad of being in denial, Sinikka Elliott teases out the advanced dynamics at the back of this considering, demonstrating that it really is rooted in fears and anxieties approximately being a superb dad or mum, the hazards of stripling sexual intercourse, and youths’ destiny fiscal and social prestige. Parents—like such a lot Americans—equate teenager sexuality with heartache, sickness, being pregnant, promiscuity, and deviance and wish their youngster childrens to be shielded from these items.

Going past the hype and controversy, Elliott examines how a various crew of yankee mom and dad of young ones comprehend teenager sexuality, exhibiting that, unlike the concept that mom and dad are polarized of their ideals, mom and dad are harassed, nervous, and ambivalent approximately teenager sexual intercourse and the way top to steer their very own children’s sexuality. Framed with a watch to the debates approximately teenage abstinence and intercourse schooling at school, Elliott additionally hyperlinks mom and dad’ understandings to the contradictory messages and vast ethical panic round baby and teenage sexuality. eventually, Elliott considers the social and cultural stipulations that may make it more uncomplicated for folks to speak with their adolescents approximately intercourse, calling for brand new methods of considering and conversing approximately teenager sexuality that advertise social justice and empower mom and dad to embody their youngsters as totally sexual matters.

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Additional info for Not My Kid: What Parents Believe about the Sex Lives of Their Teenagers

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Most parents blamed adolescent risk taking and problem behaviors, which, they said, includes sexual activity, on family breakdown and dysfunction. Hence parents may be better able to recognize as a sexual subject a child they have not entirely reared themselves because this does not raise the specter of their own parental failure. It may also be difficult for parents to see their children as sexual beings because doing so can bring them into conflict with the government’s childprotective agencies.

But her explanation also makes it clear that, as a responsible, high achieving, “good solid kid,” her son does not fit her stereotype of a “sexually active” teen. I later asked Portia if she has since talked with her now 16-year-old son about sex or contraception. Her answer clearly shows her reluctance to see her son as a sexual subject: “Well, since then he broke up with her. ” Portia and her husband have forbidden their son from dating until he graduates from high school. Once he goes to college, Portia feels he will be ready to date again and thinks that will be the time to discuss contraception.

Teen pregnancy, HIV, HPV—is sex more dangerous now than in the past? The answer is more complicated than a simple yes or no. 29 Teens have more contraceptive options and sources of information than ever before. A greater incidence of sexually transmitted infections is found today than in the past, yet impressive advances in the screening, treatment, and prevention of STIs have also been made. 31 On the other hand, the negative consequences of sex are not evenly spread among all Americans. S. population, whites—the dominant and historically privileged racial group in the United States—accounted for only 35 percent of Americans living with HIV in 2006.

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